What My Nephew’s Wedding Video Make Me Realize

My nephew and his newly-wed wife invited my parents and I over to their new home. After showing us the place and having some pizza, we went on to watch their wedding film. And that was when I saw it: myself, on camera, after a long time.

At first, I noticed the good stuff: my white and charming smile — yes, I do have one — and my modern haircut. Alright so far. Then I saw the composition as a whole: shoulders pointing inward, love handles outlined under the shirt, that awful large hip and the dreadful, dreadful crooked nose.

Oh my God, how it upsets me. It has a bump, a down-pointing tip, it bends to the right and is simply too much. That moment I thought: f*ck this, I don’t need to put up with that any more second! I’ll work my ass off and get this nose job done.

I’ll wake up early and run in the morning. I’ll lift and press and push in the gym till it’s over. I’ll invest my time in getting that remote job I wanted and I will make it happen! Out with the inward shoulders, out with love handles, out with large hips, fat ass and thick thighs. In with the new nose, in with being in shape, in with siding that joyful smile with the body it deserves.

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